Monday, June 16, 2014

What Sucks Presents…Doctor or Not A Doctor!

With Measles making a comeback like and set to go on tour with mumps when school starts up again this fall, WhatSucksBlog thought it might be time to play a round of it's brand new game show, Doctor...or NOT a doctor.  See how well you do! Winner doesn't get a disease basically wiped out a few short years ago! 

Answer: A doctor!

Answer: NOT a doctor!

Answer: A doctor!

Answer: NOT a doctor!

Answer: NOT a doctor, this is Jenny McCarthy dressed as a big strawberry!

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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

What Sucks…Eric Cantor: So Long, Douchebag Edition

Eric Cantor, (more like Eric CANTor- you all can use that!) one of the country’s leading douches, and the very douche to tweet the above thanking BOSSES for their contribution on Labor Day, was voted out of office this week, for ironically, at least on the surface, failing to be a big enough douche.  I say this because he was defeated by someone named Dave Brat, who apparently out-flanked Cantor on the right.  I guess Cantor’s “fuck immigriants” stance could in fact by trumped by Brat’s “no, seriously, REALLY fuck immigrants.” 

Brat for what it’s worth is a college economics professor, with a deep love for all things Ayn Rand.  I’ll give him a tiny bit of latitude on the Rand thing- normally a harbinger of assholishness for any adult- because, let’s be honest, it’s not until after you leave college that you realize Ayn Rand is garbage. 

Any way you slice it, Eric Cantor was defeated.  Is it a teachable moment?  Sure.  The lesson? Don’t be such a douche, OR be as big a douche as you possibly can, because some other douche is always waiting in the wings to out-douche you.

Thursday, June 05, 2014

What Sucks…The NSA! (Vol. 1)

The NSA, you know the people apparently reading your emails, listening in on your phone calls and examining your texts- they’re sick of you texting that girl “U up?” by the way, are looking into acquiring software that can detect sarcasm in real time on social media. 

I guess they got tired of kicking in doors of teenage girls who felt if Caitlin Jacobs and Jaret Evans went to prom, they’d quote “SERIOUSLY kill someone, I literally, can not even.”

The software will be designed to analyze data pertaining to “geographic segmentation, sentiment and trend.”  Which is just great

Thanks, NSA.  You guys are really doing some great work
And if you commission a sarcasm detector, you also may want it to be compatible with something other than “Internet Explorer 8.  Unless you’re looking for intel on what browsers people use to download Google Chrome.