Friday, November 30, 2012

What Sucks…Quick Hits: NFL Players Using Viagra, Yassir Arafat, Angus T. Jones, Michael Jordan


…NFL Players Using Viagra!

I knew something was up when I saw Ed Reed tackle a guy from 5 yards away! What the hell is next? If you find yourself playing football for more than four hours, please consult your doctor!


…Yassir Arafat

Being exhumed?! Way to double down on the whole “don’t sleep in the same place twice” from the grave!


…Angus T. Jones

Tells us not to watch 2 & ½ Men because it’s trash? Dude, speaking for a country of 350 million, we're way ahead of you!


…Michael Jordan Getting Kicked Out Of A Country Club

…for the shorts he was wearing. Normally when a black man is asked to leave a country club, it’s big news, but nobody should want to be like Mike when it comes to dressing, unless you own stock in companies that make mom-jeans and Nehru Jackets.
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Thursday, November 29, 2012

What Sucks…PETA!

So people are kind of freaking out about these naked pictures of Wendy Williams but I don’t know what the big deal is. It’s the human body, people! This is nothing any of us haven’t seen before…

...ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE BEEN IN THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS LOCKER ROOM AFTER A GAME!

Take a look at this thing...


...is this pro-animals, or pro-photoshopping?! I mean, Jeezus. You can put this picture on a wanted poster and have people come back to you with 200 people, NONE of them Wendy Williams.

That being said, kudos to Wendy Williams and god bless her comfort level with her own body. Hell, she is gorgeous and taking a picture like this takes balls...

...AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE ABOVE PHOTO!

Kidding.

Honestly, she is more comfortable with her body than I am with mine. I envy that and I am not hating- can you picture a white woman doing something like this? The concept of a 50 something year old white woman undressing for a cause would be positioned as a threat- TAKE CARE OF THESE ANIMALS OR JOY BEHAR WILL GET NAKED!
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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

What Sucks…Team Breezy, Death Treat Tweets

...Always be respectful. Always keep your hands visible. Do not make any sudden movements. Maintain polite eye contact. Do not reach for anything...

The simple yet sad, set of instructions that inform young African American men on how to conduct themselves around the police? Or what Rihanna has to make sure she does when she goes out again with Chris Brown?!

Don’t tweet something like that or you will find yourself knee deep in some serious shit from “Team Breezy” who the other day death threatened @JennyJohnsonHi5 for a few hours. Luckily Jenny wasn’t too shaken up because, as we’ve discussed at WhatSucksBlog before, it’s pretty frigging hard to be intimidating death threat style in 140 CHARACTERS!
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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What Sucks…Quick Hits Joke Dump: The Boy Scouts Of America, Bristol Palin, Hulk Hogan, Fergie


…The Boy Scouts Of America

Denied a 17 year-old Eagle Scout status
because he’s gay! Here’s the official quote: “He hasn’t lived up to the principle of ‘Duty to God’”, said the Scoutmaster, who wants to be around young boys all the time, often in secluded areas of the woods!


…Bristol Palin

Kicked off Dancing With The Stars “Round of Champions”! Palin says she’s disappointed and asks that everyone please respect her privacy during this difficult time while she tries to figure out what reality show to do next.


…Hulk Hogan

A sex tape featuring the Hulkster hits the web and sadly the answer to, “What you gonna do, when Hulk-a-mania runs all over you?” is “Cringe and get a paper towel!”


…Fergie

In an interview with Oprah, Fergie said crystal meth made her so paranoid she thought the FBI was after her. The FBI called the suggestion “ridiculous” pointing out that making horrible music is not a crime.
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Monday, November 26, 2012

What Sucks…The Reaper

RIP the great Larry Hagman. Played one of the all time bastards on TV with his character of “JR” in Dallas, and for my money, and even greater one in “I Dream Of Jeannie” where he kept a woman in a bottle for years.

Good night, Major Anthony “Tony” Nelson, you sonavabitch.
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Friday, November 16, 2012

What Sucks...Bears!

They run 40 mph, stand 9 feet high, climb any tree and I just saw an internet video where one bit through a tire…why don’t we call them monsters again?

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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

What Sucks...Webseries To Check Out: Stalkers



The season finale of "Stalkers" featuring the very funny Andy Blitz & created by the very funny Janine DiTullio. Check it out here and check out other episodes here.

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