Monday, January 31, 2011

What Sucks...Pizza Parties: A What Sucks Classic

I’m not missing anything here, am I? You’re just sitting around with a few people and eating pizza, right? No one’s dancing, no one’s getting laid- nobody’s wife is making out with the hot new intern? Yeah, I’m not impressed.

I’ll remain unimpressed until someone can answer this question for me, when I went to a crowded pizzeria this afternoon for lunch, was I at a pizza party? Cause, what’s the difference. A radio? Seriously, a pizza party? Really? Cause I heard at the last one hot Kim from marketing took her top off. Yeah, it was great, Vonnegut was there- and Jack White showed up with Mick Jagger- holy shit I did so much coke.

Seriously were the people who were at the last pizza party you went to even your friends? Did you even like them or were were you just there for the pizza? I’ll let you in on a little secret- pizza is readily available- stop selling your soul for a lousy slice taken out of a crappy, damp cardboard box. I don't go to pizza parties anymore and yes, I hate myself less. I’m not a child anymore. I can afford my own pizza- I have better things to do and you should too.

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