Monday, November 01, 2010

What Sucks…Sexy Chewbacca, Sexy Sesame Street

Hey Halloween- keep it in your pants!

Lookit, I don’t want to have to do this every year, but it seems like I am going to have to. And again, don’t take this to mean I don’t want women treating this holiday as an opportunity to take their own personal slut-torials but come on, let’s make it at least LOOK like we’re making an effort to wear legitimate costumes sexy or not.

Case in point, Chewbacca is a 6’11, furry, masculine, Wookie. He’s buddies with Han Solo and together the travel the universe in search of adventure. To use the word “stretch” to cover the idea that Chewy could in any way be “hot” is a borderline sacrilege. Here, look…

…that should not have given anyone wood in any way, shape or manner. PS, thanks to the horrible final Star Wars movie (I mean the last one theatrically released, not “final” in the sense that Return of the Jedi was final, I mean the one with Jimmy Smits in the last scene…) we ALSO now know what female Wookies look like, and well, it ain’t like the above.

Oh, wait a second, forget everything I just said, cause now for Halloween, we’re getting dressed up a “hot Sesame Street characters”.

Nice. So, if you leave your home on “All Hallows Eve” hoping to perhaps get a chance to bone Big Bird, you’re in luck, for the 65 percent of my readers who don’t, we lose again.

Halloween constume designing pervs, stop trying to make things that aren’t hot, hot- what’s next for next year- a “sexy” Brooke Hogan costume? Oh yeah, you’re right that was a “Brooke Hogan’s a Man Sneak Attack”.
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