Tuesday, November 02, 2010

What Sucks…America: A What Sucks Voters Guide

Well, it looks like it’s too late and too energy consuming to weigh in on this thing, the way it should be weighed in on. Today will be a shitstorm of epic proportions.

I get that our economy blows, I am feeling it personally big time but instead of holding to the fire those responsible, and bringing to the table measures that would prevent it from happening again, a decision was made to dress up like Williams Daniels in 1776.

Just to catch you up in case you’ve been avoiding facing the unpleasant facts, apparently there was a big movement this past year by a bunch of people called “Tea Partiers” who claimed they wanted to take “government back” and then, after being co-opted by a few other major assholes, threw up for election a bunch of fucking psychopaths.

Of course, our media, especially the cable news networks, threw fuel on the fire by featuring the Tea Party on TV every three seconds while largely avoiding talking about them being started and funded by a political action group whose goal it was to keep health insurance in the hands of large corporations rather than have it be made affordable for everyday folk.

A lot of signs were misspelled, a lot of firey, nonsensical rhetoric spoken, and a lot of novelty 3-cornered hats were purchased and all of this leads up today, Election Day.

Fortunately, all this does make for a rather easy WhatSucksBlog voters guide. Here goes and yes of course, I shouldn’t have to say any of this.

1) Do NOT vote for anyone who has come out publicly against masturbation and compared it to adultery ESPECIALLY if they are one time may have dabbled in witchcraft.

2) Do NOT vote for someone who thinks that Sharia Law has been implemented in two cities in the US and who also falsely claims to be Asian!

3) Do NOT vote for someone who sends bestiality videos around to counteract his incredibly racist videos ESPECIALLY if the dude is from Buffalo.

Do your best to at least follow these 3 rules. And remember, you can’t undo what was done in 8 years in two years.
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1 comment:

Ken said...

If you wrote about why America sucks on November 2nd you'd still be writing.
Been reading since you said Sayid on Lost sucks...keep up the hilarious insights through these sucky times.