Monday, October 18, 2010

What Sucks…Katherine Heigl


Say what you will about Katherine Heigl- and I’ll say this- she blows, but she definitely is her generation’s go-to-actress when it comes to having kids do stuff to her in movies that, well, is F’d up. Things that let’s just say, if you searched them on YouPorn with adults involved, I’m told you’d get a lot of hits. Let’s run the list of credits, shall we?

Movie with Gerald Butler
where she plays a girl is at first repulsed by a guy then ends up selling out everything about herself and falling for him…KID BRINGS HER TO ORGASM BY MANIPULATING A REMOTE CONTROL VIBRATOR!

Movie with Josh Duhamel
where she plays a girl is at first repulsed by a guy then ends up selling out everything about herself and falling for him…KID POOPS ON HER FACE!

Not for nothing but if this keeps up, somewhere in Hollywood you will hear this conversation taking place….

DOUCHEY EXEC:
I like the story and everything but who are you thinking about for the female lead- I ask because in act 2, and I know there is some slapstick physical comedy to it but- she kind of stumbles into a weird threesome with a baby and a 6 year old…

SCREENWRITER: Well, if we can get funding, I’m told Katherine Heigl is very interested.

DOUCHEY EXEC:
Oh, of course. Great call.

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