What Sucks…Quick Hits: Chick From Housewives of DC, Voters in Delaware, Gabourney Sidibe, Bridalplasty

If Ferris Bueller were around and not a fictional character, and had a cynicism one attains by not living life in an incredibly rich neighborhood in some suburb of Chicago where you can arbitrarily decide whether or not you want to go to school, he might have said this-

“Shit that sucks in life moves pretty fast and if you don’t stop and look around every once in a while, you might just miss some of it. The shit that sucks, I mean.”

My point is that the suckiness is flying fast and furious- you blink for one second, you’re playing catch up. Like this…


…The Chick From Housewives of DC Who Wandered Into The White House That Time

Says she will be posing for Playboy. Well, not so much posing as wandering into the frame uninvited and THIS WAS AN EASY JOKE TO WRITE!


…Delaware Republicans

THE WORLD: Hey, there’s a psychopath who not only has come out against spanking the monkey, but also thinks it’s the same thing as adultery AND went on MTV a bunch of years ago to talk about, oh yeah and Sarah Palin totally says we should vote for her.

DELAWARE: Oh. Okay, sounds good ‘cause I’m angry that we have a black President large deficits even though I elected George W. Bush to 2 terms and it didn't seem to bug me then!


…Gabourney Sidibe

A controversy about lightening her skin? Aren’t we burying the lead here folks by not mentioning that she was on the cover of this magazine and it WASN’T a double issue? Look, if you know anything about this, Elle Magazine did an article about the 25 most influential women in their 20’s and Gabourney was #11...through 19! Let's face it in her short career, she's had a big impact- on sidewalks! Whoo-hoo she’s fat!


…Bridalplasty

So you know those crazy cults who are always trying to trigger the end of the world through some crazy human sacrifice or something? Well, they formed a production company, pitched someone at E! and sold a show where brides to be compete and the winner gets to get plastic surgery on their wedding day. Congrats lunatics!
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