Friday, September 03, 2010

What Sucks Presents: Sucks To Be...This Guy, Yonni Barrios

A) You’re stuck in a mine in Chile with a bunch of other dudes and it looks like you’re basically screwed. There is limited air, they’re telling you that for some reason they can’t get you out of there for months and you’re basically splitting a Chicklet piece of gum 30 different ways for food. And yes, I will address this because I know my readers- I don’t even KNOW how they’re handling the bathroom situation thank God there’s limited food re: the poop factor.

B) As if the above doesn’t suck enough, your wife comes to the hole you’re buried down in for a candlelight vigil AND MEETS YOUR MISTRESS!


WOMAN ONE: Hey, who are you here to see today?
WOMAN TWO: Ugh. My boyfriend Yonni. I am so worried.
WOMAN ONE: Me too, my husband is down there, wait his name is Yonni too. I wonder how many Yonni’s work at this mine?
WOMAN TWO: Well, mine is married to a woman he says doesn’t understand him if that helps….
WOMAN ONE: Yonni! I hope you make it out of there alive so I can kill you!

Yes, I know in my world every conversation in a Latin American country plays out like a 1980’s sitcom but still this is a little bit of an awkward exchange and a major bummer for Yonni who in a month will be like, “Oh Jesu Christo! Take me back to ze mine!”

Mine as a cockblocker, yet another way mines suck.

BLOG NOTE: Have a great and ironic “Labor Day” as so many of us are out of work please remember to think of all those out there who worked 18 months ago to fund the unemployment you are hopefully getting today. WhatSucksBlog will be back Tuesday.
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