Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What Sucks Salutes Shitty Parents!


Take a bow shitty parents, you may not be getting a “Mom or Dad of the Year” award, but you are definitely getting mentioned on one of the top blogs in America (or A-MORE-ICA, I’m telling you- use that- you’ll get all sorts of young, liberal, college strange!) First up…


…The Parents of “Adolf Hitler” (and “Aryan Nation”) Campbell!

Heath & Deborah Campbell
, who you remember once found themselves in a big mess when they tried to get someone at a Shop Rite to write “Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler” on a cake, lost custody of their kids recently due to charges of domestic violence. Nice work child services, not enough they used horrific rhetoric by saddling their kids with a name like “Hitler”, you had to wait till they were violent to move? Who are you, America (A-MORE-ICA) in the early 1940’s? So now the kids are in foster care, presumably being called by initials of some sort. By the way and just so you know, the world is still yet to see someone with a kid named "Adolf Hitler" be a good parent.



…Laurence Fishburne

Look, I know the popular take on story this is to show Morpheus as a victim, and his daughter as an embarrassment who “always wanted to do porn” but come on, somewhere along the line he had to screw up as a dad. A porn star with a normal parent is basically un-American. I just hope her career stops before she is handed the script (or at least shot list?) to “The MatriXXX”, “Boyz N The HO…od” and “What’s Lust Got To Do With It”. (Sorry for those weak-ass porn parody titles, but I just realized that the film “Boyz N The Hood”, used the “N” for the word “IN”, yet went with the normal spelling of “THE” instead of “DA”. Why didn’t people flip out over that shit?)


…Dina Lohan

Her epic horrible-parent battle with ex-husband Michael is (un?)fortunately going to end with a body count. Here she is cracking under the questioning of Matt Lauer. MATT LAUER!
Follow What Sucks on Twitter!

No comments: