Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What Sucks…The Foot Long Cheeseburger

Look, this blog is supposed to point out things that suck, certainly the cheeseburger’s creation is among the heights of human ingenuity. Beef, slapped together with cheese melted over it, in between two pieces of (toasted) bread. It’s basically perfect. You could get away with one every day as a kid, and then one a few times a week- not that a doctor would recommend this- as an adult.

Not to harsh anyone’s mellow but, you know- if you eat too many of them, it will kill you- and this is coming from someone who eats too many of them. There are all sorts of issues with the over consumption of cheeseburgers- heart disease, cholesterol, etc. So, you know, I have to say pointing out that we don’t need one that is a foot-long is a little depressing. Let me also say that a company like Carl’s Jr. is not a company made up of a bunch of crazy people who just, on a lark, throw together a product and put it out there to see where the chips fall. What I’m saying is, they probably did some research and market tested the idea of a cheeseburger that was a foot-long and the results they got back were, you know- America is all for it.

People- I know there are those of you out there who have had at one sitting- TWO cheeseburgers. I am one of you. But to sit down and eat a cheeseburger- of invariably shitty quality- that is a foot long is a disservice to the very lower intestine and colon that you already have working in overdrive! It is okay to say- no, really- we don’t need that. We’re all right with the country’s already existing giant cheeseburgers, thanks.

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