Tuesday, June 08, 2010

What Sucks…Quick Hits: The Oil Spill, Helen Thomas, Chris Gaines, Van der Sloot

…The Oil Spill

This thing is much worse than anyone imagined- I heard earlier today Florida coastal workers were seen furiously trying to clean Bjork's 2001 Oscar dress!

…Helen Thomas

Ugh. All I know is that I picked a terrible time to launch my “Helen Thomas to Host SNL (please)” campaign over at Facebook.

…That Whole “Chris Gaines” Thing Garth Brooks Tried To Pull Off*

*BLOG NOTE: I have gotten SO many emails praising me and my idea to include something from the past, that pre-dates What Sucks as an entity in my “Quick Hits” entries that its not even funny. (Last week I said Alex Kelly, a rapist from the late 80’s sucked because he raped 2 girls then went skiing in Europe for 10 years). So because of the outpouring of support I have decided to include one here again today and even to call them “What Sucks Way-Backs” in honor of the WayBack Machine, which I enjoy. So, here you go folks I appreciate the notes and emails, and please ladies stop sending nude photos of yourself- I sometimes write in Panera and they don’t appreciate that stuff in there!

BLOG NOTE II: None of that stuff above is true except that I dig the “way-back machine”. (Back to the Chris Gaines thing.)

So let me get this straight, you’re a shitty singer with an ovation guitar, whose alter-ego is going to be another shitty singer? Like being Garth Brooks was stopping you from finding your true potential as someone who sucks? I call bullshit- you can only be one shitty singer at a time!

…Joran Van Der Sloot

Sorry, I don’t have much more than this for this dude other than to say- F this guy!
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