Thursday, May 06, 2010

What Sucks…Taser Watch! Vol.2

Welcome to another edition of’s Taser Watch, where we put a spotlight on who’s getting tased, so you don’t have to. That’s right, today we are eliminating the need for you to google the phrase “Taser” and “10 year old girl”. Look kid, you don’t want to do your homework, how do you feel about getting 10K volts shot through you? I’m kidding, lack of homework was not the reason this girl got tased, it was because she wouldn’t take a shower. Don’t worry, the mom gave her blessing.

Normally, this is where I’d run down the top three tases in April/ May but come on, we all know what #1 is. I’d even say it is a watershed tase, possibly being the most important tase ever. This has the “old lady getting tased” story beat. As well as the lame-ass “don’t tase me bro” tase. This tase, brilliantly executed by advocates of tasing dares you to not dig tasing- even if the person being tased is a Phillie fan.

Look, I don’t appreciate being manipulated like this. Tasing is evil- right? But then you see that kid- in a Phillie t-shirt, probably drunk, running like an ass on the field- and you’re like- damn. I’m gonna come out AGAINST something that makes him drop like a ton of bricks while a bunch of other mutants cheer? Who is the new guy running the pro-tasing movement, Karl Rove, ‘cause this is absolutely genius.

Yeah this month a 58 year old homeless woman was tased, and sure a cop tased some poor bastard at a Waffle House – as a joke! But no one is talking about that now, are they? They’re all talking about a Phillie fan- someone who’s parents may have booed Michael Jack Schmidt, on the ground flopping around like a fish.

Most. Important. Tase. Ever.
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$$$$ said...

Shurely you mean 10K volts?

deluca said...

got it- thanks.