Monday, May 24, 2010

What Sucks Salutes Giant Balls

…Tony Hayward, CEO of BP

Between saying that the effect of this environmental disaster will be “very modest” and comparing the spill itself as “relatively small” when put up against the size of the entire ocean- along with pronouncing the word “PROG-ress”, “PRO-gress”- one would have no choice to say that Tony Hayward, CEO of BP is doing a “heckuva job”. At this point the only confidence I have in this dude is confidence that he will once again say the wrong thing. Folks, you know shit is hitting the fan hard when people are saying Kevin Costner might have the best idea of getting us out of this. How is that possible, this has nothing to do with baseball! Here’s an idea, how bout Tony Hayward lowers his humongous balls onto the oil spill to clog it up?!

…The Octomom, Nadya Suleman

You may think it takes pretty big nards to already have 6 kids and then get prego with 8 more when you do not have a job and have had work to make yourself look like Angelina Jolie, and you’d be right- but now think of the size of your onions if on top of all that, you put a sign on your lawn advocating for the spaying and neutering of pets! What, you can have litters and they can’t? Perhaps you will soon give birth to two giant balls- wait you already have them!

…Rand Paul

This a-hole has a conversation on TV where he points out theoretically that the government may have been over-reaching when it said that private businesses should be prohibited from discriminating against those who would use their services. Then, when people naturally go ape-shit over it, as it has been settled business for 45 years, he whines that he’s a victim of “gotcha journalism” before he claims that President Obama is being too harsh verbally toward BP and that "accidents happen". Again, when people correctly call him out as a loon, he cries again that he hasn’t had a honeymoon. Hey a-hole, stop saying stupid shit and people will stop reacting to it! You want to abolish the IRS and the Department of Education- how bout you start at abolishing your gigantic, cry baby balls!
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