Monday, April 12, 2010
What Sucks...Spirit Airlines
You would think the executives of major airlines would be hard pressed to find ways of making air travel suck more.
You would think that between canceling flights when they’re not filled to capacity without regard for the chaos it causes customers, along with making seats so goddamn small that between the person in front of you reclining, and the person to your left trying to get the arm rest, you’re in the worst three-way ever, they would be absol-fucking-lutely stumped as to how to make traveling by air suckier.
But we are talking about some of the most creative suck minds in the world. People who have no problem making you sit in a plane, on a runway for as long as ten hours without taking off. People who decide to charge you a fee for the bags your checking, claiming that they must do it due to high gas prices, but when those gas prices go down- the fees remain. People who try and charge you 5 bucks for shitty headphones to watch their shitty movies, and then when you try and use your own headphones, they set up their headphone jack to be all screwed up so that your functioning headphone only gets sound out of one side- and their inferior headphone works better.
That’s pretty F’d up if you were able to follow that- they make a shittier product work better than a better product to screw you out of 5 bucks.
But sometimes you just have to marvel that a plane can even take off when the people who are running it have such incredibly giant, heavy balls as Spirit Airlines do. Their motto must be- we have to fly, because with balls this big, we can’t walk.
Spirit announced the other day that they will now be charging for carry on luggage. CARRY ON LUGGAGE! So now, you can’t check a bag without a fee and you can’t carry on a bag without a fee. These assholes basically want you to travel very light- what’s next, making us empty our pockets before we board? The worst part of it is the spin- how they claim their trying to make everyone take less items on the plane to prevent delays. Hey assholes, you can’t prevent delays by padding your schedules- you're gonna prevent them by charging me to take on my laptop? The only reason someone is bringing a goddamn roller on board as a carry on, is that when they check it not only does it cost them an extra 20-25 dollars, they have to wait an extra 40 minutes for you douche-knuckles to get it off the plane and onto the baggage claim. You travel 3000 miles in 5 hours, and then it takes you clowns 45 minutes to bring the bags the final 100 yards.
Why are these assholes always charging extra fees for everything? Don’t tell me that its hard for them to make a profit! Their product is taking people up in a flying machine and moving them great distances in a very short period of time. Sometimes they show movies while doing it. How is it hard to make that an attractive consumer product?!
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