Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What Sucks…Schick Quattro: Perv Watch Vol. 28


Blog Note: Stole this from the Yenta.

Wow Schick Quattro, very subtle. What was the Mad Men pitch on this one, you bunch of pervs?

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM. DAY.

ROGER IS IN FINISHING UP A JOKE HE’S TELLING TO THE SCHICK PEOPLE.

ROGER: …so then the black guy says, at least I’m not a Jew!

THE ROOM BREAKS UP WITH LAUGHTER. ROGER LOOKS TO DON, AND MOVES THE PRESENTATION TO THE PITCH STAGE.

ROGER: Don has had some thoughts about the new campaign and we think you’ll like what he has to say.

DRAPER TAKES A DRAG OFF HIS CIGARETTE AND LOOKS TO THE CLIENT.

DRAPER: More than anything else, women are looking for intimacy- it’s a search that never ends. And there’s a reason for that. Bobby, lights…

THE LIGHTS ARE DIMMED.

DRAPER (CONT.):
Gentlemen, you see, no matter how close to a man she gets, there is always something keeping her apart from him- I’m talking about…

DRAPER CUES A SLIDE, IT IS OF A WOMAN WHO HAS AN ENORMOUS PUBIC AREA.

DRAPER (CONT.): …the bush.

THE LIGHTS COME UP, THE SCHICK EXECUTIVES ARE WIPING TEARS FROM THEIR EYES. THEY LOOK TO ROGER, NOD AND THEN EXIT. DRAPER FOLLOWS BEHIND THEM, TO HIS OFFICE WHERE HE LIGHTS UP A CIGARETTE AND LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW, BOTHERED.

DRAPER (WHISPERING): I’m sorry Betty.

CROSS FADE TO BETTY, AT HOME SHE WEARS A BATHING SUIT IN HER BEDROOM, HOWEVER SHE IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, HER HAND SLIDES DOWN TO HER CROTCH, SHE BEGINS TO CRY. HER DAUGHTER ENTERS.

DAUGHTER: Mommy, are we going swimming today?

BETTY: No Sally, we’re not going swimming ever again.

SALLY BEGINS TO CRY AND LEAVES THE ROOM. BETTY LOOKS DOWN ONCE AGAIN TO HER PRIVATE AREA.

BETTY: Or at least for a month or so.

OUT.
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