Wednesday, March 31, 2010

What Sucks…The Pope

Don’t think the Pope sucks? Well, that can only mean two things- you’re a Catholic living in denial, or you’ve never simultaneously googled the terms “Hitler Youth” and “Child Molestation Cover-Up”.

If you haven’t heard, the Pope followed up being accused of transferring a few pedophile priests to different parishes (the Church’s ill-conceived “touching young souls” program), with referring to the reports as “petty gossip” and vowing not to be “intimidated” by them. Well, all I can say to that is, you go Pope! Seriously, go, please. Resign. What a disgrace.

First off, you look way too much like Emperor Palpatine for anyone to take seriously. Thing is, Palpatine only wants to rule the world and revel in the power of the Dark Side, I’m pretty sure he draws the line at enabling dudes who want to touch little boys’ wankers.

Secondly, how many times are we supposed to look the other way when this Pope does something scummy? The guy has publicly lied (repeatedly) about the effectiveness of condoms as a means of stopping the spread of disease, has come out against stem cell research, and I’m told, wears his mitre regularly when he goes to the movies (very inconsiderate when you’re sitting behind him).

But all of that pales in comparison to, when he was the Bishop of Munich, and then later the guy in charge of the Vatican’s disciplinary wing, the CDF, getting all involved in the “pedophile shuffle”. Jeezus, in one case- at a school for the deaf, over 200 boys were molested by a priest who was never prosecuted or investigated. A SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF! Imagine how horrifying it is to be told to take off your underoos by a priest- now imagine what it would be like to have to have that “signed” to you.

Add this to “being in the Hitler Youth” and being a force behind bringing Cardinal Law to Rome which was tantamount to rewarding him for shuffling pedophile priests in Boston and I think we can all agree that maybe calling this jag-off His Holiness? More like His A-Holiness. (Y’all can use that.)
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EarleyDaysYet said...

While I completely agree, one pedantic point:
"he draws the line at enabling dudes who want to touch little boys’ wankers".

A "wanker" is a person who touches (usually) himself, from the verb "to wank". What is touched is sometimes referred to as a "wanger". Not sure what you actually meant...

Tor Hershman said...

Just surfed in on a "Pope Sucks" search with this.....