Wednesday, March 17, 2010

What Sucks…The Fat Lady From NJ Who’s Trying To Gain Weight In Order To Crack 1000 Pounds

A lot of balls being dropped by humanity here.

If you’re unfamiliar with this story, here’s a quick run-down- Donna Simpson, who some time ago became the fattest woman to ever give birth when she had a baby at 530 pounds, is trying to make a run at being the heaviest woman on earth, attempting to gain enough weight to get to 1000 pounds. She’s at 604 now and yes, perhaps using the term “run” in the previous sentence was a poor choice of words.

Also of interest in this story is, as you can see from the above video, her spending about $750 bucks a WEEK on food, and that she gets a lot of that money through a website she runs where, hold onto your lunch (seriously, this chick will take it) men pay to watch her eat.

I’m guessing this is not what G-d had in mind when he sent his only son to die for us on the cross.

By the way, if you are one of the men paying to watch this woman eat on the web, you are a special kind of perv. I mean, what is the next step for you. Is this the perviest thing you can do that is legal? I mean is paying to watch a 604 pound woman wear lingerie and stuff her face with 70 pieces of sushi the closest you can get to stealing a girl and having her grow up in a tent in your backyard? What happens if you can't get wi-fi that day, do you go to an aquarium and watch a whale eat? I honestly can’t think of much more in the way of pervy-ness that beat this, that doesn’t involve some skirting of the law.

As for Donna Simpson, clearly she has more issues than Rolling Stone Bon Appetite. I won’t pretend to know her pain- what it’s like to have 30 doctors work on the delivery of your baby, how it may feel to tape worms leave you body voluntarily, in disgust, and with type 2 diabetes- how every time you sing, people think whatever they are doing is over.

All I can say is this- way to go mankind. Way to A) have a woman who weighs 604 pounds who clearly wants to die, and B) Have pervs sponsor her eating via the web. Seriously, take a bow.

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Oil Energy Money said...

Bwahaha, excellent post! You are the newer, better Amelie Gillette at the Hater

digibandit.blogspot said...

God sent his only son to the cross so that legions of Homo Priests could violate altar boys -so what does he care about this poor fat chic tryin to make a buck?
VERY FUNNY shit dude -i think you are getting sharper since Rocco arrived

Anonymous said...

itd be funny if she had a heart attack and died at 999 pounds