Tuesday, March 16, 2010

What Sucks…The Bounty Hunter

As many of you who know me, (and yes readers, if you’ve read more than 1 blog posts here, you can consider yourself someone who knows me- I am just simply not that deep), know, I am no fan of Rom-Coms. In fact, I hate them. The list of things I’d rather see than romantic comedies- especially those starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerald Butler ranges from “a hair in my food” to a “spot on my X-ray” all the way to “an Adam’s apple on my date”.

And, be that as it may, it only takes one viewing of the trailer for “The Bounty Hunter” to understand how truly awful this “genre” of film can be. Not only is it, like all trailers for rom-coms, rife with things that would never happen in real life, I count at least 7 felonies being committed, and if you throw in talking on a cell phone while driving, reckless operation of a moving vehicle, and the destruction of private property (hotel vase being destroyed) 10 instances of violations of the law, 8 of them pretty serious- all in 2 minute 40 second trailer.

(Here they are.)
1) Person skipping out on bail
2) a man putting a woman in the trunk of his car
3) unlawful imprisonment- handcuff scene hotel room- (happens twice by the way)
4) the random firing of guns and the holding of a gun to a woman’s head during sex
5) tasing someone (I’m sure there’s a concealed weapon thing going on there as well)
6) the tackling a woman by a man
7) assault and battery (fight in bar with Bikers)
8) reckless driving (man using car to crash into a pedicab)
9) talking on phone while driving
10) destruction of private property- the hotel vase being destroyed

As a matter of fact, change the theme music of this thing from Hang Fire by the Stones, something a little more ominous (or anything off Radiohead’s Amnesiac album), and you go from romantic comedy to a stark drama, borderline snuff film that could pass for a what happens when Jennifer Lopez’ “Enough” has a baby with Julia Roberts’ “Sleeping With The Enemy”.

I’m not one of those guys who does those mash-up things, because I’m lazy and lack initiative, but this one seems pretty easy to do, one of ya out there should do one, and then just link back to me when you become an internet superstar.

By the way, saying that this piece of shit is from the “director of Hitch” is not going to make me see this thing!

The Bounty Hunter opens Friday, March 19th!
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Anonymous said...

The song is "Hang Fire", not "Hang 5". No idea how you made it through the whole trailer, this film looks predictably terrible.

deluca said...

Sorry- brain fart on that one- Hang Fire- will fix.

Invisible Woman said...

jennifer better get all samuel jackson with her movies, stat...it'll all be over soon