Monday, December 28, 2009
What Sucks…Charlie Sheen
Marrying Charlie Sheen, is like…look, I don’t know how else to put it, putting chum on your privates, then sticking those privates into a tank of hungry, irritated sharks and saying, with conviction, “There is no way these sharks will mutilate MY privates!” I mean, seriously, even Saudi Arabian men are like, “dude, you suck as a husband.”
No wonder the guy is so into hookers by the way, you’d be too if every other woman in the world had a restraining order against you.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to, when you date someone, bring a resume and treat the thing a little more like a job interview.
“…Oh, I see in your last relationship, a judge issued a restraining order against you…hmm…ooh, was the actual reason for the breakup an ‘addiction to hookers’, I mean is that a clinical term? Oh, and tell me about this thing with Kelly Preston before that, you ‘accidentally shot her’.”
I know not a lot of people can afford a private eye to do a background check or something, but come on, google searches are free, right?
Follow What Sucks on Twitter!