Monday, December 28, 2009

What Sucks…Charlie Sheen


Marrying Charlie Sheen, is like…look, I don’t know how else to put it, putting chum on your privates, then sticking those privates into a tank of hungry, irritated sharks and saying, with conviction, “There is no way these sharks will mutilate MY privates!” I mean, seriously, even Saudi Arabian men are like, “dude, you suck as a husband.”

No wonder the guy is so into hookers by the way, you’d be too if every other woman in the world had a restraining order against you.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to, when you date someone, bring a resume and treat the thing a little more like a job interview.

“…Oh, I see in your last relationship, a judge issued a restraining order against you…hmm…ooh, was the actual reason for the breakup an ‘addiction to hookers’, I mean is that a clinical term? Oh, and tell me about this thing with Kelly Preston before that, you ‘accidentally shot her’.”

I know not a lot of people can afford a private eye to do a background check or something, but come on, google searches are free, right?
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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

No matter what he does, Charlie Sheen never sucks. He's a hot package of drunken antics, and that's f-ing sexy.

jens said...

this blog sucks

Adam Pravda said...

Where's the What Sucks for NBC? Or Leno?

Anonymous said...

Ugh I can't fucking stand Charlie Sheen. You can hardly call the guy an actor he just plays himself on TV.

Anonymous said...

Charlie Sheen is tortured by terminal narcissism. But one treatment from Dr. Colt and he's cured forever.