Monday, November 02, 2009

What Sucks…Playboy

What is happening at Playboy? This month Marge Simpson was on the cover and next month, they’re going to have Tara Reid. That’s “not that funny” and “shit- you gotta be joking, right?” respectively.

Tara Reid? Really, are there guys out there who haven’t seen her naked? I mean like, in person, after a night at a bar? Folks, American Pie was in 1999. It’s 2009 now. The only magazine doing a spread on this chick should be "Liver Abuse Quarterly" (they had to move to quarterly due to sagging sales, print media is taking a beating)!

She can’t be the centerfold, right? What would be her turn-ons? Long walks on the beach, and guys who really know how to ‘hold hair’?

And Playboy, do you have any idea how many plastic surgery scars she has? You’re going to have to do so much airbrushing you might as well save your money and go with “an artists’ rendering”. All the soft focus and filtering you’re gonna have to do, it’ll look like you shot this thing in a dream sequence. Do us a favor, while you’re in there photo-shopping, pop Megan Fox’s head on there as well.
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