Thursday, October 29, 2009

What Sucks…Roman Polanski!

Roman Polanski headed for extradition!

This is good news for many reasons, not the least of which is that Hollywood gets a chance to get this story right. And yes, I realized that normally you shouldn’t need a Mulligan when it comes to supporting a guy who raped 13 year old, but we have one so, let’s make the best of it.

Here’s a couple of tips on how not to make the same mistakes you made last time, Hollywood.

1) Do NOT circulate petitions saying he should be released! Don’t do it. And if you see a petition for it, don’t sign. The public isn’t going to understand anyone signing that thing other than R. Kelly! And they shouldn’t its just not cool!

2) If someone asks you why you think he should be released, saying “he’s a good director” is not a good enough reason!

Look, I love Star Wars, but that doesn’t mean George Lucas gets to have his way with Miley Cyrus. Even though you know he would. Look at that guy- he’d like nothing better than to get his excess neck-skin in a room with her! I digress.

3) Do not try and downplay what Polanski did by saying it wasn’t “Rape-rape”. I shouldn’t even have to say this. By the way, rapes other than “Rape-rapes” are still bad. Hollywood is still having a hard time with this- someone quoted noted old gay dude Gore Vidal the other day calling the woman Polanski raped a “hooker” the other day.


Why is this so hard for people to understand? It’s NOT Chinatown!?! Which leads me too...

What Sucks Bonus...The End of Chinatown

Ahem, spoiler alert, 35 years later.

Why doesn’t this movie get more shit for its ending? Yes, I understand it’s a great film in respect to the whole noir thing and it looks pretty amazing and the story is pretty damn good and Nicholson is excellent and overall it is a classic, no problem there.

But the ending, more specifically the last line- come on.

“Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown.”

Forget it? How fucked up was Chinatown in that era? A woman was just shot in full view of 40 people by a cop who no one denies is basically an employee of the man who raped her 17 years earlier! Oh yeah and that rapist guy? He’s also her dad AND the father of her child. Oh and he also basically had her husband killed and “Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown.” is what the guy says?

Oh yeah, it’s Chinatown, my bad. I forgot. I’ll go get a “unicorn burger” and hang out with the two-headed Elvis at the all night strip club/ slaughterhouse down the block. Oh hey, can I borrow a centaur tooth, I’m out of them and apparently that’s the currency here cause we’re in Chinatown.

At least the Wire has Omar killed in the final year.
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1 comment:

Invisible Woman said...

waaaay overdue for a what sucks honor...