Thursday, October 01, 2009
What Sucks…Jon & Kate
For a little while now Jon & Kate have not been able to stand being around each other, and now it’s become pretty clear America feels the same way because the other day, how do I put it, Jon was FIRED FROM HIS OWN FAMILY!
That is how detestable these people are! A guy can get fired from his own family! (Sorry about the caps but I didn’t think we were allowed to fire anyone from a family- Cousin Sue- you’re on notice!)
So NOW can we PLEASE not ever have to hear from Jon & Kate again? Every time I see them I literally feel like I’m going through a divorce….awkwardly sitting through their silent tension…walking on eggshells because a fight could break out at any minute…soon I’ll have to put the fake smile on when meeting their “new” boyfriend or girlfriend. Oh, they’ll both try and tell me that mommy or daddy only made a new “friend”, but come on- how many “friends” sleep over in the same bed? Okay? I’m not dumb.
And why do I have to go through this again!?! I already went through my parent’s divorce!
I feel bad for the person who pitched this show- it’s gone from a heartwarming tale of a young couple dealing with 8 adorable kids, to a stark drama about the fragility of the human psyche.
When this thing came out it was “Jon & Kate, brought to you by Gerber’s Baby Food…” And now it’s… “Jon & Kate, sponsored by “Bum Fights” DVD out this Tuesday.
You rent season 5 on Netflix, it says “viewers also enjoyed…‘A Clockwork Orange’.
It’s devolved into a contest to see who’s more hate-able. Kate’s mean to the kids…Jon’s wearing Ed Hardy shirts. Jon has an affair with the babysitter…Kate has an affair with a bodyguard- all these affairs- I have friends with one kid and I haven’t seen them in months, these losers have EIGHT, you know how determined they must be to have affairs?
Then Jon goes on Good Morning America and tells the country he despises- DESPISES Kate, because, I guess, that’s easier than having to say “Mommy and daddy are breaking up” 8 times.
Game over, right? Think again, Kate’s getting a talk show or something. It’s like Ali- Fraizer of who’s the bigger a-hole.
OJ ended relationships in a less-messy way!
So can it be over, please? Forget just making it Kate Plus 8. Let’s just end it before its called “Child Services Plus 8”?
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