Tuesday, September 29, 2009

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Baby Edition!

Babies are taking some major hits this past week news-wise. They’re like the Sharks of the Autumn of 2009. And yeah, a lot of it is deserved (not referring to 2 entries ago) I mean, they’re selfish, they cry a lot and if they’re not eating or sleeping, they’re pooping. The other day, I saw this mom changing her baby who had done a serious poopy in his pants, and WHILE SHE’S CHANGING HIM, WHILE THE DIAPER IS OFF, HE DECIDES TO TAKE A WHIZ. Baby, dude- you can’t do that while you’re still diapered? Seriously, what an a-hole move.

…19 Pound Babies

19 pounds?! Sweet Jesus, what- was it born at the age of 2? You’d have to swaddle this thing with a parachute! By the way, here’s an artist’s rendering of what this poor woman’s uterus looks like CLICK HERE, incidentally like the artists rendering, this woman’s privates are one of the only things that doesn’t disappoint!


Is this a problem? Racist babies? I don’t get it, are babies seeing black people walking down the block, and then (crawling) crossing the street to the other side? Do babies refer to a basketball player such as Mike Miller as “heady” and “gritty”, and then similarly refer to someone like Chris Bosh as a “naturally gifted athlete”? Is Pat Buchanan a baby?

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