Thursday, September 24, 2009

What Sucks…Dancing With The Stars


Ed note: here are a few things I kind of fell behind on this week.

Holy Shit-bags, Tom DeLay is on Dancing With The Stars? Are you kidding me? Wait a second, before I flip out- has this show’s name been switched to “Dancing With The Scumbags”?! No? How ‘bout “Dancing With Those Who Commit Gross Fraudulence”? No?

“Dancing With The Douchebags”?
“Dancing With The Shady Douchebags”?
“Dancing With…any derivative of the word “douchebags”?
“Dancing With The Soon To Be Felons”?
“Dancing With The Jaw-Droppingly Corrupt?
“Dancing With Sweatshop Enablers”?
“Dancing With A-Holes The Likes Of Which We May Never See Again”?

Then WTHF? (Holy fuck)

Let me get this straight- this show, which calls itself “Dancing With The Stars”, then books people like Melissa Joan Hart and Aaron Carter, to BE the stars, is not satisfied with insulting its audience’s intelligence enough, it has to go book Tom DeLay to be on the show?

Who the F on this planet wants to see Tom DeLay dance? Who says, “hey- that guy who with Jack Abramoff ripped off all those Native American groups that were looking to open casinos, yeah, that guy who redesigned voting districts to pad Republican majority numbers- right, him- yeah I’d love to see if he can mamba.”

Why are we, the public being punished, and how come his trial is so “delayed” that this ass-hat can be on an entire season of Dancing With The Stars? Isn’t this cock-knocker awaiting trial on money laundering charges? Did I miss his trial? Yet we’re the ones who have to watch him stumble around a stage in sweatpants?

It’s like Dancing With The Stars thinks we’re too good for Danny Masterson. I’m outraged. Please join me in this letter writing campaign. (You can cut and paste into an email.)
Dear The Guy/ Lady Who Books People For Dancing With The Stars:

Are you shitting me? Tom DeLay? Really? You’re serious. Someone in you office was like- “hey we have one more opening, should we go back at the 2nd Becky from Rosanne?” And you were like “No, let’s get one of the biggest scumbags ever to serve in congress.”

And everyone was okay with that? No one resigned in protest? Seriously.

Yours in Christ,

America.


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3 comments:

Mike Marsh said...

They're really just testing the waters for their new spin-off, "Dancing with the Arraigned."

MMayes said...

Bernie Madoff and Governor Blagojevich were busy this time.

DoctorMad said...

I would like to submit the Cleveland Browns to your list of things that suck. We suck so bad that it's in the 3rd quarter of the third game of the season and I have the History Channel on while I'm surfing the web for other things that suck. You don't even need to be able to understand football to see that we suck. Sunday after sunday it's like watching the poor guys get off the Higgins boats to charge Omaha Beach. After I send this I plan to work on my paper bag to wear over my head for the games I have tickets to later in the year.