Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What Sucks News... Jon Gosselin Takes Lead As Most Detestable Gosselin

In the history of the world there have been some pretty damn good rivalries- Dinosaurs V. Humans, Greeks V. Romans, Yankees/ Red Sox, to name a few. But has there ever a heated competition like the battle for who is more of a douche with in the Gosselin family than the one going on between Jon and Kate Gosselin? It’s like a battle of two heavyweights of suck, just unloading bombs on each other all the time.

Kate came out of the box fast and annoying. She was mean to her kids, she had horrible hair and a face that looked like she was constantly smelling a “poop & 7 day old possum corpse” salad.

But then there was Jon, seemingly over-matched, but not really. He began wearing Ed Hardy T-shirts all the time and then having affairs.

Kate swung back with a rumored affair with one of her bodyguards. She threw hissy-fits- began crying in public and calling the police and was publicly accused of exploiting her children.

Jon answered by having a douchey Las Vegas pool party and then began dating a 22 year-old idiot.

He must have smelled blood, because then he then went on Good Morning America and told America…

…he despised her! Game over, right? Jon and Kate Plus 8 Therapists- one for each kid!?

No. Not yet- Kate swings back, getting a gig as a substitute host on the View!

Don’t count Jon out yet- though- having an affair on the woman he had an affair with?! And having an affair with his kid’s nanny only to have the nanny say he wasn’t great in the sack? It’s on again, folks!

Current rankings of biggest douches in the Gosselin family as of today…

#1 Jon Gosselin
#2 Kate Gosselin
#3 Mady Gosselin*

*denotes a distant third.

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