Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What Sucks…The Reaper

Liberal stalwart and 7&Seven enthusiast Senator Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts died last night at the age of 77. A 46-year veteran of the US Senate, Kennedy lived more from the early 70’s to the mid 90’s WITHOUT pants than most people live in their entire lives with them on. A tireless worker for civil rights and health care, Kennedy was among the first major political figures to endorse Barack Obama’s run at the White House and delivered a stirring address at the 2008 Democratic convention.

There will be much written on the web about this legendary figure of American politics and mine is not the copy that will be put into the Kennedy library, but I do think it is my duty to point out a few things as JFK’s and RFK’s youngest brother passes on…

Ted Kennedy drank a percentage of the booze sold in New England and had a head that I am estimating to have had to weigh at least 35 to 40 pounds. I seriously don’t know what coffin they’re gonna get that will fit that thing. Additionally, from approximately 1983 to 1991, if you didn’t see his hand on some woman’s ass, you probably would not have recognized him.

Kennedy, however, also championed health care reform and to him, for the most part, the promise of “universal coverage for all Americans” was not something to be downplayed when publicly discussing the issue. This made him very much unlike current Senate douche-mongers such as Joe Lieberman and Chuck Grassley, who insist we “really should wait” for health care reform or that young people don’t have insurance because “they don’t want it”. What an unmitigated disgrace.

Sure Kennedy could drink Shane MacGowan under the table, but at least he advocated for the rights of those less fortunate than he for a large part of his life and didn’t grotesquely shill for insurance companies, cowardly complaining that health care reform is coming at him “too fast” and bills are being “rushed”. I have a better idea Senators Kennedy left behind, do your fucking job.

Unlike far too many of his colleagues Kennedy had balls- and if you were a woman in the Boston, Miami, Washington, DC area anytime between 1970 to 1996, he probably showed you them.

Teddy Kennedy, The Lion of the Senate, RIP.

By the way, Reaper if your reading this and driving home on a bridge, go slow and be careful.

Follow What Sucks on Twitter!


jacob williams said...

Its so sad that he had to die..

Joy Reed said...

I was sad to hear of his death. My condolences and prayers go out to his family.

joel gonzalez said...

now its up to us..

bblackvt said...

…like we’ve all been saying, it’s not a good proposition. Look at Canada and all other countries that have this type of health reform…it’s not beneficial to folks who truly need good and quick health attention.