Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What Sucks…The Reaper (An Analysis)


Something occurred to me this afternoon as I was considering the Summer of the Reaper™. Yes, much has been made of what he’s done the past few months and rightly so, let’s face it, he’s been extremely active with the celebs. Put it this way- if you’re looking for a place in Beverly Hills, for the most part, it’s now a renter’s market.

And while he’s taken down some biggies, Jacko, Farrah, John Hughes- let’s not go out of our minds patting him on the back for being such a bad-ass, some of the people he’s taken were basically on their way out to meet him.

Look at this roster, I mean the Reaper-mobile could for all intents and purposes be an “Access-a-Ride” van.

Ed McMahon…86
Walter Cronkite…92
Merce Cunningham…90
Les Paul…94
Frank McCourt…78
Robert MacNamara…93
Eunice Kennedy Shriver…88
Karl Malden…97
Bea Arthur…86

Even the Taco Bell Dog was old.

I mean, yes, sure there’s some Billy Hays, Steve McNairs and Arturo Gattis thrown in there but it’s not like we’re seeing lists like…

Abigail Breslin13
Shia Labeouf ...23
Allison Iraheta ...16
Kavya Shivashankar...
Stephen Strasburg...
Selena Gomez ...
Michelle Wie...
Ian Kinsler...
Jonathan Gabrus...

Today he took the creator 60 MinutesDon Hewitt, 86 and yesterday he took the opposite of Don Hewitt, Robert Novak, 78. What I’m saying is, hey Reaper- big man, take out a bunch of old fogies, who’s next? Mickey Rooney? Joan Rivers? I’m not impressed.

Don Hewitt, RIP.

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2 comments:

MMayes said...

I agree with Blue Oyster Cult-- don't fear the reaper. But unless you've got stones the size of Evel Freakin' Knievel, don't taunt the Reaper either!

Ryan said...

Let's be honest - picking on octogenerians is pretty pansy of him.