Monday, August 03, 2009

What Sucks…Saved By The Bell Reunions

Wait, I’m sorry- I wasn’t really paying attention here when this “movement” may have started, so forgive me but- this is happening? Saved By The Bell is reuniting? How? Why? To do what? Is this some photo-shop fake magazine cover? Did someone call for a Saved By The Bell reunion? Why would they do that? I don’t understand. I’m very confused.

Why would anyone want Saved By The Bell to actually reunite? Isn’t the joke here, person one says to person two, “Hey…let’s get Saved By The Bell to reunite!” And then person two says- “Yeah right, I wonder what Jesse Spano is doing now.” And everyone laughs and goes about trying to get laid.

But this is like person one, the next day gets a call from person two who says, “hey, I actually got Saved By The Bell to reunite…” and person one is like “What the fuck did you do that for, I was kidding, ass. What’s wrong with you?”

If anything, “Reunite Saved By The Bell” would be some new “ironic” thing a hipster douchebag would wear on a T-shirt or something. There wouldn’t be an actual reunion- there’s no reason. The show sucked. It always sucked. It was a cynical force-feeding of schlock to a Saturday morning audience in decline because networks refused to recognize the advent of Nickelodeon- something to which they’d soon cede their Saturday mornings to thus ending the beautiful tradition that was “Justice League of America”, “Sid & Marty Kroft Hour” and that weird claymation religious show “Davey & Goliath”.

There’s no nostalgic value to a Saved By the Bell reunion- it can’t get anyone- not even Zach Morris- laid. It’s without soul or redeeming purpose. Screech literally had to ask the public to help pay for his home, AND release a sex tape where he does a dirty Sanchez on it to try and remain viable AND HE’S THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON CONNECTED TO THIS THING!

We can do better than this, people! Rise up! Fight for your ironic schlock!
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Carney UGVC said...

I agree here! These people could not have POSSIBLY been back by popular demand. You're right though, it could have been some hipster antic driven by a desire for even more ironic t-shirts...

uglyblackjohn said...

Blame Jimmy Fallen.
But this show had better looking women than did Degrassi.

Invisible Woman said...

Hi John! There goes the!