Thursday, July 16, 2009

What Sucks…Hollywood (Bridget Jones 3)

Bridget Jones 3? Really? Bridget Jones is gonna be a trilogy? I don’t have a Bible on me right now, can someone please check the index to see if that shit shows up in Revelations? What’s that you say, Bibles don’t have an index? Well, they should.

Anyway, while wasting time I could have spent bettering the world, I came across this news that Bridget Jones 3 is in development. Now, technically, this will not affect me. I did not see either of the other Bridget Jones movies, nor will I see this one, but I did see this, on Entertainment Weekly’s blog…(click to enlarge).

Look at that description. Good lord. Read it aloud if you have to. I’d literally rather read a book than see something like that. I guess the two other Bridget Jones movies made money- I guess there’s a fan base but I’m not sure why. I think I walked by the TV screen once when one of the movies was on cable and I’m pretty sure I saw her telling her story to a bunch of Vietnamese women in jail. Maybe I imagined that I don’t know. I DO know however that Renee Zellweger is not hot. Not hot skinny. Not hot fat. And I say this as a guy who’s into “women eating Sour Patches porn”. (Porn, in which women eat the candy ‘sour patches’, and thus make that Sour Patches face.)

3 Bridget Jones movies, yet my crime solving botanist (This sapling is dead- and it was no accident!) screenplay gathers dust on some Hollywood shelf somewhere.

Blog note: I know nothing about Bridget Jones or the series of Bridget Jones books.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

the books are a lot better than the movies. the core audience who finds it funny is someone who is actually fat and perpetually single, not someone who has to choose between colin firth and hugh grant. (and there is a scene in a vietnamese jail, i think she gets them to burn their bras)