Monday, June 22, 2009

What Sucks…These Dads!

Hopefully yesterday you gave your dad a big hug and thanked him for all he’s done for you and your family- I sure did (via text message, I’m not very good with the face to face emotional thing).

And while I’m sure as the dads across the nation were showered with ties, and fancy gadgets like electronic screwdrivers and gift certificates to places where they can buy electronic screwdrivers, I certainly hope no one honored these turkeys!

…Kim Il Sung

I know you’re dead and a major douche in your own right, but nevertheless, nice job as a dad, loser. Way to raise a douchebag, insecure son who disgraces you by wearing women’s sunglasses and elevator shoes everywhere he goes and ALSO happens to hold the world hostage by continuing to develop and openly test nukes.

…Desmond Hatchett

If this dude went on a date with Octomom, we’d be China! Desmond Hatchett, for those of you who aren't his son don’t know is the dude in Tennessee who has 21 kids with 11 different moms, and while he’s a champion of exploiting the low-self esteem of the women of Tennessee, and a champ of men’s virility, as far as dads go, he kind of blows.

…Bernie Madoff

Aside from being a scumbag in general, this doucheburger, if we are to believe his sons- and it’s possible they may be telling the truth- pulled off all his fraud without telling them. This forced them to, upon learning of it, turn their dad in (always pleasant) and then open themselves up to years of litigation from the many victims of Madoff who will surely sue them trying to take whatever they can get. This, on top of having to prove that they did not know about their dad’s activities (to stay out of jail) makes for an already shitty dad, getting much shittier.

…John Edwards

This dude is a shitty dad to kids both legitimate and otherwise! Not sure he got a father’s day card this year, but in all fairness, there is no “Thanks for fathering another kid while mom was recovering from the big ‘C’” section at Hallmark.

Or is there?

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