Monday, June 01, 2009

What Sucks…The Wearable Towel


“They made the Snuggie, and I said nothing…”

So this is it, huh? The “Wearable Towel”. A towel, that you “wear” with a series of shoulder straps. Suck ingenuity at its best.

Not enough that some ass-clown invents the “Snuggie”, then some OTHER ass-clown, sees it and makes a wearable towel, cause yeah, you really can’t wear a snuggie when you get out of the shower. Nice job, dude. Good thinking. People who buy this thing should be put on a list and monitored by the government.

Look folks, we’re coming down the home stretch for this planet. It’s on its way out. If not my lifetime, certainly the next generation’s. You know the story, the polar ice caps are melting- vast areas will become flooded, other areas will become arid. PEOPLE WILL BE MIGRATING TO THE REMAINING AREAS THAT ARE NOT AFFECTED BY FLOOD OR DROUGHT! Didn’t you all watch An Inconvenient Truth? The planet is headed for disaster and Al Gore made you slide show presentation! And what are we leaving for history, wearable towels? They’ll be like “Of course they’re extinct, look at this shit!”

Oh, and the commercial made for this thing- when a friend sent this to me the other day I honestly thought it was some kind of joke. I thought someone had made it as a goof, or someone was perhaps doing a shot by shot remake of The Handmaid's Tale, but only had 25 dollars to do it. Either one.

By the way, towels are ALREADY wearable, you just have to do that tuck thing correctly.

6 comments:

squad546 said...

Why is everyone at the BBQ wearing one of these stupid assed things?? Surprise they don't advertise it as "flame resistant too!"

$$$$ said...

I don't get why the guy with the bathrobe is having so much trouble...

Darkly said...

Whenever I'm wet right out of the shower I make sure to put my bra on before I bother with my towel also.

Anonymous said...

Okay, first off---these things have been out for YEARS!!! Secondly, they do act as a robe in the summer time, when, let's face it, it is too goddamn hot to put on a long sleeve terri clothe one. So I have to say I disagree with you on this one. Maybe if you were a chick with tits you might have gotten it.

Darkly said...

I'm a chick with tits and I still think it's lame.

MMayes said...

I don't know why the guy wearing a towel is thinking he can hang out with chicks. As a man, you've got a choice. You can either wear a towel or have a penis, but you can't have both.