Monday, June 08, 2009

What Sucks…David Carradine’s Family

Look, I understand how awkward it is to have someone you care about die in the process of autoerotic asphyxiation, but demanding an autopsy is not helping the situation.

I know you don’t want to believe that your father died in this most awkward way, but in order to perform this autopsy, a medical examiner will have to cut through a strap hanging around the subject’s neck AND ballsack.

What I’m saying is, the cause of death is not exactly gonna be poisoning- unless said leather strap around said neck and said ballsack was treated with a highly toxic tanning agent. And by saying this, I’m pretty much giving you the best case scenario.

On the other side, let this entire process be a teachable moment for any (many) of my readers currently practicing autoerotic asphyxiation- look at the pain and expense you can cause your family. Some reports project that somewhere between 500 and 1000 people die from this every year. That makes for 500 to 1000 REALLY awkward wakes and funerals. Please, if you’re reading now with a strap around your neck and “willie” in hand, consider orgasming the conventional way- from what I understand, it’s not that bad!

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