Wednesday, May 06, 2009

What Sucks…American Idol

Look, this season’s performers actually do NOT seem like over the top douchebags. There is no “faux-hawk” this year, and for the most part, no one is pulling the Jesus card as has been done left and right in seasons past. Further, a lot of these people can kinda sing and I am WAY over hating on Adam Lambert- that guy is AWESOME.

I honestly tune in each week is to see what he’s gonna do and to see if he’s gonna do it wearing a feathered boa. That dude has everything- and by “everything” I mean enough black eyeliner and nail polish to scare the shit out of Randy Travis, and a voice like that dude King Diamond had gay sex with the lead singer dude of Queensryche. He deserves to win so clearly that his inevitable loss might just destroy Idol, which is a good thing. Last night they throw him up on stage- at the ROXY no less- WITH SLASH- and what does he do? He gets the Led out. The Friggin’ Led! Those two pumpkin shaped orbs at his feet? Balls. Big ones. Even Slash had to tip his hat to him, metaphorically- (that dude must be seriously bald he’s been wearing a goofy hat my entire adult life.)

That being said, last night was “rock night” and man did it “blow”. We had a duet of two dudes singing a Styx song- Danny Gokey butchered an Areosmith song while wearing a vest and for some reason, someone thought “Slow Ride” would be a good tune to do a duet with.

So who goes home? Hopefully Kara Dioguardi. She’s awful and if you watched last night, clearly knows nothing about Areosmith.

Caption this photo- see how long it would take you to write “Dude singing early Areosmith”.

American Idol is on Tuesday and Wednesday nights on Fox!

1 comment:

Mike Marsh said...

All I keep coming up with (even knowing that the "correct" answer is supposed to be Aerosmith) is "dude singing Mame". Or some kind of Liza tribute. Sure, you could get away with singing prog rock in that outfit (and I like prog rock), and Bowie's shown that there's no unacceptable clothing for his music, but Aerosmith? That must be breaking some Federal statute, right?