Monday, May 04, 2009

What Sucks Presents…Underrated Sucky Things: Warranties!

Yeah I know it’s kind of obvious and all but, how did the concept of warranties become so acceptable and commonplace in this giant crap-fest we call our society?

Think about what a warranty is- we’re buying something- usually something very expensive – a flat screen TV, a car, whatever- and we’re basically being asked to fork over an additional 65-140 bucks to make sure the thing we’re already spending an ass-load of money on, doesn’t break as soon as we get it home.

If this thing I’m buying is so shitty that its gonna break when I walk in my door, why the fuck am I at your store, buying it in the first place? Can’t I go buy a product that doesn’t need a warranty because it’s actually good and won’t break 20 minutes after I take it out of the box? Apparently, no.

Here’s an idea- make something that doesn’t fucking suck, or if it does suck, replace it without me having to give you extra money to make sure you’ll honor the product I’m BUYING from you in the first place.

It should be implicit that if I buy something - and I pay you the price we have agreed on, it thing should work, right? A warranty is like a “mediocrity tax”- it’s one of those things that slipped through the cracks of our Suck-Dar and is now totally accepted without any kind of push-back. Like those albums where Rod Stewart sings standards. We have to live in a world with that shit, and it’s too much of a pain in the ass to reverse it.

It’s like the suck-mafia is extorting us, saying, yeah- we suck so bad that this thing we’re selling is a piece of shit, and deep down, you, the consumer know it, so we’ll ask for more money so when it breaks, we’ll give you a new one.

Last time I go to Bob’s Dildo Emporium.

1 comment:

Mike Marsh said...

Any album where Rod Stewart sings pretty much pings the living hell out of my suck-dar. There are songs and artists I don't care for, but for Rod I'll change the station.