Wednesday, March 18, 2009
What Sucks…The Pope
Man, this dude hates condoms more than Travis Henry. (Click on the link, 9 kids by 9 different women!) I don’t blame him either- who wants a rubber thing hanging off the end of their privates? And it REALLY lessens the sensation by the way- it’s like going into a shower while wearing a Mitre! Matter of fact, I admire the Pope’s courage to speak out. Thanks Pope! Raw dog for everyone! Pull and pray all the way! Whoo hoo!
Wait a minute! Something just occurred to me on the way to the clinic…why would the Pope care about what its like to wear a condom? He’s the Pope, he’s not having sex…with women. From the time he is a candidate for the priesthood as a very young man, he took a vow to never have sex again- if he didn’t he wouldn’t be so wise and venerable, right? There’s got to be another angle…NOW I remember, he doesn’t want people wearing condoms because he feels it’s against the traditional teaching of the church, THAT’S why he’s coming out against condoms!
Oh and he’s saying that on his first trip to Africa where AIDS is killing millions of people, year after year. Where a disturbing amount of kids have AIDS- where you can easily be eaten by a lion. (Africa sucks.) Here’s my question- how does the Pope-Mobile fit those enormous, Vatican sized balls he has? That thing must be as big as a Winnebago (which are priced outrageously by the way).
So yeah, Popes have been coming out against condoms for as long as condoms have been put on dicks, and the problem is, because he’s the Pope, his criticism has a little more weight to it than other people who think condoms are a bad idea like, I don’t know, a horny teen-ager who forgot to go to the drugstore and…(I can’t think of anyone else who is against condoms as much as the Pope!)
So the Pope is telling us that the Lord would rather people pass the HIV virus back and forth to each other and die rather than wear a jimmy hat on their dicks. He DOES work in mysterious ways.
By the way, this shit about condoms comes after the Pope recently reinstated a dude into the priesthood who thinks only 300,000 Jews died in the Holocaust, way to get on a real A-hole roll, Pope.
One more thing, the Pope is still studying whether or not it’s okay for people who are married to people with HIV to use condoms- that is a disdain for condoms that goes a long way. Seriously. I’d rather belong to Church’s Chicken.