Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What Sucks Salutes Giant Balls



…Bernie Madoff’s Wife

After her scumbag husband steals billions of dollars from people, and then gets “sentenced” to house arrest in a Park Avenue Penthouse for what seems to be an eternity, she comes out and says that 62 million of her money and a Manhattan apartment were unrelated to her husband’s fraud and therefore she should be entitled to keep them. Giant ones. Balls that is.



…Chris Brown

For not only realizing that 1/8th a human being would withdraw his name from contention for a KID’S Choice Award, but for also blogging and then telling kids to go vote for him- what is he even being nominated for? His last 3 hits were shots to Rihanna’s face! Boulders between his legs.

By the way, what’s with Usher apologizing for being “too hard” on Chris Brown? What the fuck happened to this country where people can’t publicly shit on Chris Brown or Rush Limbaugh without having to apologize? You want me to NOT shit on Chris Brown? Okay, only if he beats up Rush Limbaugh.



…Nickelodeon

Refusing to bounce Chris Brown from the Kid’s Choice Awards?! Who’s giving out his award, OJ? What, because Rihanna’s taking him back we ALL have to? Brassy ones, the size of pumpkins.

On second thought, maybe he should be able to go to this thing- and let him take Miley Cyrus with him- maybe she’ll get a text.

UPDATED: HE’S OUT! REPLACED BY…LINK



…Wall Street Scumbags

Okay, the economy is in the shitter, we get it- how bout in exchange for all this bail out money the banks are getting, you guys stop feeling sorry for yourself and start coming up with the next thing bullshit thing we can get rich off that will have its bubble burst 2 years from now! Seriously you guys should have had our next lie by now, get off your asses!

3 comments:

Mike Marsh said...

Everyone knows kids love domestic violence. He was probably counting on the "he reminds me of my Dad" vote.

Anonymous said...

OOOHHH, that was harsh Mike. Harsh, but funny!

Anonymous said...

How about this bullshit lie that they are all in danger of folding unless middle class taxpayers fork over trillions of dollars to keep them afloat? Don't you think that's part of their latest and greatest bullshit scheme? Call me cynical, but I don't believe a f*ckin word these banks, the media, and the politicians spew this day and age!