Wednesday, March 04, 2009

What Sucks...El Vacio: Pwn3d!

El Vacio: Pwn3d

A list of previous pwn3ds…

ATTEMPT: October 21, 2007…Tried to have a group of people seated at a restaurant, and had whoopi cushions covering all seats.

RESULT: Received a black eye from Maitre d of said restaurant and a contusion on my upper arm, the result of three patrons of the restaurant punching me.

ATTEMPT: November 2, 2007…Approached tailgating NY Jet fans in parking lot of Giants stadium, sneaking up behind them, I told them I was “Brett Farve” and then attempted to urinate in their beer cooler.

RESULT: Received a sprained ankle and first degree burns after being thrown over a picnic table and into a small hibachi.

ATTEMPT: November 26, 2007…Knocked on door of random family about to start their Thanksgiving day meal. Told them all I was there from the Butterball Company because lead had been found in a batch of turkeys and that I needed to test their dinner. Took plate of stuffing and “shmushed” it on the head of elderly grandmother.

RESULT: Was stabbed 14 times by 3 different family members ages ranging from 13 to 62. Was refused treatment at 2 different hospitals after they had been told how I got my injuries.

ATTEMPT: January 15, 2008. Decided to visit the Martin Luther King, Jr. commemorative Mass dressed as the Michigan State Spartan mascot.

RESULT: Internal bleeding, unable to describe assailants due to mascot mask covering my face.

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