Thursday, February 26, 2009

What Sucks…Val-Pack Coupons


Hey Val-Pack, thanks for filling my mailbox up with crap. Thanks for that monthly envelope of coupons for shit that I either would never need (buy six Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt cups and get one free) or didn’t know exists (Del Monte makes sweaters?). I’d be less embarrassed walking into a supermarket using food stamps than one of these things.

Also, thanks for putting all that information in there about laser eye surgery. Cause that’s where I want my laser eye surgery info to come from- direct mail. And also, after you have lasers pointed at your eyes, it’s always good to know that in your pocket, you have a coupon good for 15 percent off.

This stuff is printed on paper. Trees died for this, you know. I think people should have to answer to trees for the reasons some of them are cut down.

“You killed me because something called ‘Jiffy Lube’ was offering 20 percent off a future car wash?”

“I was chopped down because you wanted to sell Welch’s new AquaJuice™ drink?”

“You felt there needed to be a Joey Lawrence Biography?”

I just threw that last one in, because it exists and I think a tree would be generally pissed about it.

16 comments:

menschenjaeger said...

Okay, yeah, you've finally hit a nerve with me. I just lost it as soon as I saw the title. I actually beat three co-workers to death, and there are sirens in the distance so I don't have much time. Yeah. Val-Pak - they really really honk me off.

Georgia Road Geek said...

You couldn't've said it any better about this junk mail from hell. :)

Tim said...

Be warned, it is just as bad on their god damn website, I checked one coupon to put in the print basket, and then printed. 45 pages later, I have a coupon on the first page, and 44 pages that are blank with a URL at the top and bottom...EPIC FAIL

(Y)y WaY said...

This post is a heads up to help save business owners their hard earned money, & inform them of the return on investment that is rarely seen when advertising with Valpak. I had previously worked on a corporate level with Valpak out of the Tampa Bay area & I can tell you for a FACT that the MAJORITY of ValPak advertisers(regardless of what your ValPak rep will tell you)NEVER, EVER see a positive return on their investment. Sales reps spend most of their time trying to convince their clients to "hang in there", "give it more time because direct mail takes multiple mailings to see results" etc. Meanwhile Valpak's competitors run circles around them for less than 1/2 the price. By the time you realize it's not working, it's too late because you were pressured to sign a 6 month or longer Valpak contract! Valpak is an out-dated concept that doesn't work for anyone except them. They couldn't even pawn off their pathetic company when Cox tried desperately to sell them off 2 yrs back. Another issue with Valpak is their parent company COX that milked Florida out of Millions in tax breaks to build their new facility & then tried to sell it. So the tax payers provide money to build so Cox can sell 4 yrs later- Only problem with the Cox/Valpak plan is that they couldn't find anyone interested in paying for a business that stays in the red. That would be a more appropriate color for their envelopes as opposed to blue. Members of the current sales staff that I have spoken to told me they would like to leave as I did way back when the CEO "resigned" & Cox announced their plans to sell off ValPak along with some poor preforming Newspapers they owned, but at their age they didn't want to go through the process of looking for a new job. As for myself, I'de rather work for a company I can believe in NOT one that sucks the profits out of it's clients and community...

Debra said...

First of all its Valpak not valpack and second of all where are you getting your information? Are you a sorry competitor that can't live up to Valpak another copy of trying to be the original blue envelope? Why don't you find another business objective than to trash a business that has been successful for over 42 years... AMEN to that ...check out Utube with Sandra lee....

rosalynrivers said...

Siempre existen idiotas que no saben nada y que hablan sin saber...si no saben de publicidad y más aún de la vida....mantengan su boquita cerrada...calladitos se ven mas bonitos (se les dicen a las personas que no son inteligentes) ya que como existen tus comentarios negativos hay positivos. Si a ti no te gusta y piensas que la publicidad tiene un 100% de respuestas y eres morón, el mundo no tiene la culpa...en este caso es bueno que se desahoguen ya se ve que eres tan exitoso en la vida que no tienes nada mas que hacer...necesitas un 50% en una limpieza intestinal...JA,JA,JA Mas morón aún si no me entiendes!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm on the other end of this. I spent $940.00 to try jump starting my business. Yah that was stupid. I got back 32 coupons for my investment. (NICE) So don't feel bad people it sucks on the other end to. They are a big waste of money and the sales person was #1 bitch to boot.

Anonymous said...

Hey Debra from above, blow it out your ass. Valpak does SUCK

Anonymous said...

Hey (Y)yWaY - you know as well as I do that you lost your job when the dead wood was cut out. Sorry for your sour grapes, but if you had worked a little harder during your tenure you would still have a job. As to the rest of your comments, either you are truly clueless or are just a liar.

Be Warned !! Valpak is a Nightmare said...

Not only is it a rip off for the the advertisers, very un-green & outdated. The franchisee & sales people gets they're ass worked worked into the GROUND !!!!! 24/7. & Rest assured maybe 5 out of 200 plus stores make decent money. it would be better to just go get a job !

Anonymous said...

I invested every single months with valpak and I'm very dissaponted and angry with them. This company is a fraud! I will never recommend it. All they did is take my money without a proof that they were delivering to the areas I wanted to reach.

Anonymous said...

Val Pac is a stone colded ripp off. As the previous poster said, they bs you with lies. No return on monies spent. I'm so pissed off with these guys.Stay away...you've been warned.

Anonymous said...

Bla.bla.bla

Handyman said...

Handyman
I was trying to get my new business off the ground and went with this sham of a company. The last month they didn't send my ad out which I found out when I checked with neighbors in the mailing area ( which they did not count on) and then on top of that they put a number on the ad that is theirs they told me it was to help track calls which was about 1 or 2 a month. Except now I have an ad out there with a disconnected number so anyone who calls it thinks I am out of business. Lesson learned never deal with salesman. Total waste of money

Handyman said...

Handyman
I was trying to get my new business off the ground and went with this sham of a company. The last month they didn't send my ad out which I found out when I checked with neighbors in the mailing area ( which they did not count on) and then on top of that they put a number on the ad that is theirs they told me it was to help track calls which was about 1 or 2 a month. Except now I have an ad out there with a disconnected number so anyone who calls it thinks I am out of business. Lesson learned never deal with salesman. Total waste of money

Handyman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.