Friday, February 13, 2009

What Sucks…Live Blogging Things That Should Not Be Live Blogged: The Trailer For “He’s Just Not That Into You”

There are at least 14 things wrong with the trailer for “He’s Just Not That Into You”. And by “wrong”, I’m not talking about continuity issues in the film, or production errors, I’m talking about things that are seriously wrong – like shit that’s just not right- abominations in the eyes of God. This In the 2:30 trailer, I found about 14. How many can you find? If you can beat 14, put it in the comment section. If you’re right, I’ll let you have sex with 3 of my Facebook friends.

1) At a critical time in her development, a mom gives her child a mixed message regarding standing up for herself and setting healthy boundaries while simultaneously teaching her to equate abuse with love.

At this point the movie should turn into a stark drama about a women trying to wrestle her demons. And NOT have a Sister Hazel song kick in.

2) A friend, who is an adult, should never have to script what another friend would say in someone’s voice mail message.

3) In the part of said message in which the female lead loses her place, her natural reaction is to mention something regarding the equality that should and does exist between men and women, if this is what she truly believes, the entire premise of the film would be unnecessary.

4) A 33 year old Drew Barrymore A) refers to Myspace and then B) uses it as a verb.

5) The two people to whom she tells about said “Myspacing” A) do not walk away from her in disgust, B) do not correct her and C) reinforce her bullshit by saying that “Myspacing” (a verb that doesn’t exist) is “the new booty call”, this too is also not true as this film is not a period piece from the early 2002.

0:53 – 1:07
One conversation that would never happen occurs, followed by another.

7) No one is so dumb that they would try and comfort a friend by comparing her to Al Pacino.

8) No adult woman should have a pink phone. This woman should have a sleek, black cordless phone, no wonder no one is calling her back, she is a child.

9) No self-respecting bartender would ever spend one minute talking to a woman this un-self aware. They become bartenders in order to avoid this shit.

10) A series of conversations that would never happen occur, and they occur on a boat.

11) Scarlett Johansson takes off her clothes and tries to seduce the bad guy from Wedding Crashers.

12) A girl is so desperate to get laid, when the guy from the Mac Ads says he’s “going to bed” she says “is that an invitation?” and then says “oh god, that was cheesy” a phrase not used by anyone over 13 since 1988.

13) They destroy the meaning of a Cure song for anyone who has the unfortunate experience of watching this trailer.

14) Drew Barrymore, a professional women in her early 30’s, describes to a friend her struggles to speak to a man, in a manner that would suggest she is experiencing the phone, email, Backberry and texting for the first time.


menschenjaeger said...

What sucks is a poorly disguised plug.

Oil Energy Money said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oil Energy Money said...

Yeah Chris (AKA Justin Long), save this shameless self-publicity for your myspacing page.