Friday, January 30, 2009

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Burglars of Amy Winehouse’s Home, Amy Winehouse, Blago, Ted Haggard, New In Town, Renee Zellweger


…Thieves Burglarizing Amy Winehouse’s Home

WTF? What are you, the “used crack-pipe bandits”? When you broke into the house were you like “Shit, someone already hit this place!” What were you looking for? You have someone who fences loose teeth for you?


…Amy Winehouse

Playing Scrabble topless? How many points can you get for the word “throwupinmymouth”? What is wrong with you? Aren’t there any drugs you could be taking?



…Rod Blagojevich

Hey, you lost your impeachment vote 59 to nothing, now maybe you can run for President…of…say it with me, HAIR CLUB FOR MEN! Whoo-hoo! No, seriously, you should be put in jail.



...Ted Haggard

Look dude, when you’re busted having your 2nd and 3rd affair with a dude, you’re not engaging in “sordid conversations” and “improper relationships”, you’re gay. Once you admit it you can move out of the world of gay hustlers and illicit affairs and into the world of art show openings and fancy restaurants. It’s much less seedy.



…New In Town

I can’t believe that in 2009 I am still being asked to believe that Renee Zellweger is hot. What am I, a "girls sucking lemons" fetishist? This should have been settled years ago, Obama is right- we are afraid of making tough decisions!

1 comment:

Invisible Woman said...

O"nce you admit it you can move out of the world of gay hustlers and illicit affairs and into the world of art show openings and fancy restaurants. It’s much less seedy."

"I can’t believe that in 2009 I am still being asked to believe that Renee Zellweger is hot"

LMFAO!