Wednesday, January 21, 2009

What Sucks…Cone Shaped Water Cooler Cups

Hey, whoever designed these things- nice job, and by “nice job” I mean, “shitty job”, what else are you designing, a urinal made of herpes sores?

Really, did you come up with the idea of making a cone shaped cup and NOT spend the extra 1.5 mili-second to think of how to improve your invention? Are you so self-consumed you couldn’t picture the next logical innovation to your “cone shaped water cooler cup”- a cup with a FLAT bottom?

What were you saying- “Ah, yes – you’re welcome universe- the cone shaped water cooler cup, now where do I go to cash my check for a zillion dollars?”

Well, F-You pal. Cone shaped water cooler cups effectively give me

a) a thimble sized amount of water
b) a cup that one has to balance in their hands like some kind of douchebag, because it is impossible to put down without spilling and…
c) a cup that can never be re-used so thusly, its bad for the environment.

Nice job, all I wanted was to get some water, now my day is more stressful than it ever was, AND trees had to die. You’re a real asshole.

I don’t normally say this, and I know it may sound harsh to those who read this blog from time to time, but if you’re out there, designer of cone shaped water cooler cups, hang yourself.

Yes, that’s right, hang yourself. All I talk about at the water cooler these days is what a douchebag you are.


Anonymous said...


well put

Anonymous said...

you want them hung? little harsh, no?

squad546 said...

They do make a nice hat for around the office though.

deluca said...

only if you have a tiny head!

Anonymous said...

Maybe they can be-reused as condoms?

Anonymous said...

Obviously, you are not a business owner. I purposely seek out cone shaped cups.You know why?...You have to finish what's in them. With flat bottomed cups you are left with half filled cups of fluids left around the office with spillage hazard to carpets, furniture, documents, etc.Even if emptied,the chances of leaving a flat-bottomed cup around, instead of throwing it out, are greater than with a cone shaped cup.You can't put down a cone-shaped cup. You have to empty it and throw it out.So, I may like the cone shaped cup, but you are obviously the cone-head,since you couldn't figure out the obvious benefits of such a device.

deluca said...

Interesting, it took a little while, but I knew "the man" would weigh in.

Some fine points "Anonymous", or should I call you by your real name- Mr. "Inventor of the Cone Shaped Cup"?

Busted, pal.

Anonymous said...

yeahh.. the point of the cone-shaped cup is exactly that; you can't put it down... moron.