Tuesday, January 20, 2009
It’s an emotional day here at What Sucks as we say goodbye to a legend of suck. In a few moments, George W. Bush will no longer be President.
Oh Bush- what you’ve done for suckage can never been understated. If I know you, you’re kicking yourself right now- like Liam Neeson at the end of Schinder’s List- well, actually not like that, kind of like the opposite of that, yes you had 8 years- yes you are a suck-god and I know you are probably, right now wishing you did more- or less, as it were.
What else could have been? A second American civil war? Is their water that flows in America that is still ok to drink? Were there animals who at the beginning of your time, on the verge of extinction, that live still?
Be easy on yourself. Relax weary suck warrior, breathe. Exhale and put down the phone. Call off those last minute laws that make strip mining legal. Let the guys in the white van who you have surveilling Muhammed Ali’s house, because his name is Muhammed, take a 20 minute break. Rest easy there’s plenty for you in your last few moments not to react to in the areas of unemployment which is now at 7.2 percent, social security which is on a collision course with bankruptcy and health care.
Your work is done. Exhale.
Now, go back to Crawford and clear that brush your always trying to clear but can't seem to get done either.