Tuesday, December 30, 2008
What Sucks Salutes Giant Balls…Rod Blagojevich
Normally when WhatSucksBlog salutes giant balls, it likes to give readers 3 or 4 examples of folks who have giant balls for them to peruse and discuss with their parents over an early morning beer. But this dude- Rod Blagojevich, the corrupt governor of Illinois, gets a special mention all to himself.
I’ll be honest here, I’m not even trying to follow this story. After the election this year I’ve tried to stay away from shitting on people in politics- sure they all suck- without exception- but after a little while they’re a downer to write and read about on a blog. I’d much rather be telling you all about how lice sucks, how PUBIC lice sucks even more and how Glenn Frye’s video for Smuggler’s Blues sucks worse than both of those things (all coming in 2009!). But after only hearing a little about this douche-nugget I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t at least list for you all what a loser he be. By the way before I do that, think for a second about what you have to do these days to stand out as a douchebag among governors- anyway…
1) The Hair.
If the guy wasn’t a corrupt douchnut basically auctioning off a Senate seat- Obama’s Senate seat by the way- you still have to deal with his hair. Jesus dude it’s like Shatner’s toupe fucked Burt Reynolds toupe and then they threw the result of that horrible union in a dumpster where Rod Blagojevich saw it and was bribed to put it on his head- what’s worse- I’m pretty sure that’s not a toupe.
2) The Corruptness.
So he’s reported to the Feds and caught on tape trying to solicit payment for the appointment of a Senator to fill Obama’s vacated seat. Yeah, not exactly what the doctor ordered but politicians are scumbags so not exactly a shocker…
3) The “Giant Balls” Part
After being outed by a special prosecutor as a special variety dick, Blagojevich goes ahead and STILL appoints the guy he wants to take over as Senator setting up what will have to be the most awkward confirmation hearings in quite some time.
Dude, you were arrested by the FBI for trying to sell the Senate seat, then a week after that, you’re gonna appoint the guy you want? Balls. Large ones.