Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What Sucks…Turkeys Are Dicks Part 3

It has become somewhat of a tradition at this time of year to have this blog point out for its now 500 daily readers, who, as Thanksgiving nears, may be feeling a little antsy about the vast amount of Turkeys (200 million nationwide) that are about to be eaten, that they shouldn't sweat it too much.

The simple facts are, my friends, that there is no reason to feel bad about this pending turkey massacre when you take into consideration that Turkeys are major dicks. Please consider the following facts from of all places, the Sierra Club, that will hopefully make you feel better.

…A turkey is the one who suggested to Susan Smith, that after she drowned her kids by driving her car into a local lake, that she try to blame a black guy for it.

…A turkey is who first coined the term “TMI” meaning “too much information”.

…Turkeys are responsible for the design and marketing of “Crocs”.

…Turkeys account for 78 percent of the audience of the re-vamped Knight Rider on NBC.

...A turkey was the one who recently convinced Pete Wentz and Ashley Simpson Wentz to name their kid “Bronx Mowgli”.

Hopefully that will make you feel better.

Have a happy and healthy Thanksgiving, and if you’re the a-hole that comes over someone’s house every Thanksgiving and makes people uncomfortable by drinking too much and talking about “the immigrant problem”, try this year to suck less.

WhatSucksBlog will be back on Monday.

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