BLOG NOTE: As a public service, WhatSucksBlog.com would like to address the young men of America who think that using Axe Body Spray, Deodorant or Shower Gel will aid them in getting laid. It will not.
Dear Young Men Of America:
Sometimes in the haste to make the journey from boy to young man, we succumb to various pressures we find along the way. These “pressures” may lead us to decisions we later regret- mistakes if you will, from which we must form our values, learn our lessons and hopefully develop character.
Some of these mistakes are understandable. A buddy offers you a smoke in the school parking lot- tells you it’s no big deal- everyone’s doing it- it looks cool. He has a point- it does look cool and often it impresses chicks- that kind of peer pressure is difficult to overcome.
Some mistakes are brought on by society. By not erupting violently at the thought of “30 Seconds To Mars”, society passively condones the band and leads you, confused, to download a song of theirs, or let girls you know “get into them”. Next thing you know, you have to navigate your way through emo-music and deal with guys wearing mascara.
With the above instances, often more important than making the mistakes is your reaction to them. If we can learn from our errors- well then, we are on our way to navigating life.
Sadly, however, there is another “mistake” we sometimes face, that all too often is born of fear and ignorance.
It is in these particular instances that we must be vigilant. We must find the strength to conquer these blunders before they take hold. I’m talking of course about the idea that one could possibly think- even for a second- that Axe Body Spray (Shower Gel or Deodorant) could in any way shape or form, help one get laid.
Now I know as young people, you are inundated with mixed messages from the media telling you that what you look like or who you’re getting laid with is the most important thing in the world. Granted, it of course is- but we must remember to use our heads.
Do you really think that running out and buying Axe Body Spray or Shower Gel is going to get you chicks? That stuff smells like shit. As a matter of fact, it smells worse than shit. It smells like someone ate shit, and then shit the shit they ate, out. It smells like digested, double shit. It’s gross and you can all do better if you think that using that crap squared, is gonna help get you some tail.
Further, if I may direct this next sentence to those who have a bottle of Axe Shower Gel in their bathrooms, or a stick of Axe Deodorant in their medicine cabinets. Would you be so quick to run out and get your Axe product if you knew that not only would it not help you in your quest to get laid, but it might in fact NEGATIVELY effect your chances of fucking?
Well, sad to say- it’s true.
In your haste to buy stuff that may get you laid, you’re actually buying something that HURTS your chances of getting over on some girl. A sobering thought, indeed.
I am so convinced that Axe Body Spray, Shower Gel, etc. is a hindrance to getting laid, that if one (1) woman can honestly write in the comment section of this posting- that she’s had sex with a guy wearing some Axe product, and can prove herself to be real- I will buy dinner for her and her Axe wearing, douchebag boyfriend at an Applebees of her choice.
In closing, allow me to restate that despite what you see on commercials and depicted in media, Axe Body Spray smells like poo, and will not help you get any action. For Christ sakes, and women will back me up on this, visible herpes sores act as a better aphrodisiac.
Axe Body Spray will not get you laid*.
*denotes: by a woman.
Would never happen.