Friday, October 24, 2008

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Wall Street, Cats, Joe The Plumber, Madonna, Sarah Palin


…Wall Street

Look, I think it says volumes that the only sound investment you can make right now is “Brother Can You Spare a Dime” signs. The Dow Jones has taken more dives than Mike Tyson opponents post release from prison.


...Cats

I don’t get the ‘tude. If anyone should be moody it should be the human who owns the house you poop in a box in. Also, I don’t care how superior you think you are, one of your main toys is string!


…Joe The Plumber

The guy is a plumber, so first of all- why am I supposed to be worried about his financial situation- you hire a plumber for anything recently? Folks, we’re not living in the time of the Honeymooners, those fuckers are expensive. He’s gonna be okay. You want to worry about someone? Worry about the person who has to pay him 135 dollars an hour while he recites republican talking points with his ass-crack hanging out!


…Madonna

How come she never re-invents herself as someone I can like? Just once I'd like to see her become a cool, brave fireman or something- she can even be a whorish fireman if she wants. There have been about 100 Madonnas over the course of her life, I don’t like any of them- who to hate more- cone bra Madonna, New Age Kabbalah Madonna or skanky old Lady who f’s A-rod Madonna? I guess it's why we all keep tuning in.


…Sarah Palin

Continues to work the “because he said he’d ‘spread the wealth around’/ Obama’s a socialist” angle even though she is the governor of a state in which each resident is given a kickback from the oil companies. And clearly, as shown on various videos on the net, has no clue what a Vice President does. Now she rails against Barack for being an elitist, yet has dropped 150K on clothes since she was chosen two and a half months ago. You heard it here first “Pulling A Palin” is officially a euphemism for “talking out of your ass only to be interrupted and contradicted by your own dick” (or vag where it may apply).

Hey: Cool Blog Announcement Coming Soon! Ooh, I bet you're intrigued!

6 comments:

Miss Rabbs said...

I love your 'Pullin a Palin' comment....can I use it?

deluca said...

yes, but not to get her elected.

squad546 said...

So whats the "Cool Blog Announcement Coming Soon"? Does it involve kittens!?

cat said...

what do you have against cats? we have nine lives, we can jump up to high places, we can fuck mice up...a full retraction is expected...

your friend, ellie the cat.

Anonymous said...

Joe the "unlicensed" plumber, no wonder the licensed professionals have to deal with fanny cleavage "cracks", pun intended!

hemnebob said...

another cat says...

yeah, we are pretty damn cool and if you don't like us we will 'cchackkk,
ckkkkhhhhaack a nice hairyvomitball up in your shoes!'