Tuesday, October 14, 2008
What Sucks…Man, The Earth
Let me get this straight, man continues to fuck up the earth, anyone who stands up for it is openly derided and those who want to shoot wolves from airplanes are anointed Vice President? Nice job everyone, seriously, take a bow.
A recent report stated that up to 25%, one quarter of all mammals are at risk for extinction. That means, if you have 4 animal friends, there’s a distinct possibility that one of them will be dead when you get home.
And before you get all “who cares?” on me, realize that this report is only talking about mammals- that means that of the animals about to go extinct, we’re NOT talking about sharks (not a mammal), snakes (not a mammal), roaches (not a mammal) or poisonous spiders (not mammals). That’s right, those species will be fine and will remain with us, along with Scorpions, ticks and pigeons. We’re talking mammals dying off here- basically, your dogs, your cats, monkeys that you love so much from the 1996 film “Ed” and a red tailed lemur or two.
If you live in America, and avoid bears, you basically shouldn’t have any problems with mammals. Fine, every once in a while some gets mauled in California from a Mountain Lion, and yes, I do believe badgers are bastards and I think they are mammals, but can’t we get our shit together enough to save puppies? And kittens? And blue whales? And giraffes? How cool are they? They’re necks are so friggin long- and did you ever see them fight? It’s fucked up.
Don’t just leave us with scorpions and tarantulas- remember, if you’re reading this, you’re either a very smart Emu or you’re a mammal too.