Thursday, September 11, 2008

What Sucks…People Who Pontificate About Osama Bin Laden “Living In a Cave”


Hey A-holes, let’s not kid ourselves, by now this guy is living in a home. Caveman didn’t stay in caves after 7 years- they went out, tested the area to see if it was safe, and then built or moved into homes.

It’s been 2,555 days since 9/11/2001 and Osama still lives free. It’s embarrassing to think the guy has not only seen Eric Bana play Bruce Banner in the Hulk, but he’s also lived long enough to see Edward Norton take a shot at the roll too. (To be said in a thick, offensive, stereotypical Middle Eastern accent: “I got what they were trying to do with the first film, but I’m glad they went the different direction with the second. Norton was good.”)

As usual for this time of the year, no one is talking about it- not even that country hating jack-ass Keith Oberman. Fine, I guess its unrealistic to think the fact that this guy is still out there after 7 years would be a big story, but at least let us not kid ourselves into thinking “yeah, well he may not be dead, but he’s not comfortable.” Let me tell you something, I lived in Weehawken for 2 years- yeah, it blew, but after a few months, I made it comfortable.

Every year I have to write this post and to be honest, its a drag. I mean, Jesus, by this time, he could have had 72 virgins on his own. Let’s hope next year we get some good news, like, you know, we find out that instead of an in-ground pool, he has to make do with an above ground one.

3 comments:

Travis said...

We're not close enough to the election yet. Don't worry, they'll find him in a couple weeks...

Walking Spanish said...

the reason they haven't found him is that he's been dead since shortly after tora bora. Unfortunately it wouldn't be worthy of a headline for several reasons. 1) we wouldn't have a scapegoat for all things evil and al quaeda 2) since we probably had nothing to do with his death (kidney failure) it wouldn't make as good a headline as falsely rescuing a private from the blood soaked hands of the iraqi army. I could go on, but you made it clear this ain't a political blog....

Anonymous said...

Keith Oberman is still best commentator on TV!