Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What Sucks…Parents Who Use Rubbing Alcohol On Their Kid’s Scraped Knees


I mean, the secret’s out, right? We know that rubbing alcohol, which burns when it’s put on a cut, is no longer necessary- and hasn’t been necessary probably since the early days of the 20th century- to use when trying to clean a scraped knee. Yet moms across the nation, including my own, have been keeping the vicious people who run the Isopropyl alcohol industry in business for years. It has to stop.

Look, it’s been a while since this has personally affected me, but still, it has to be said- that shit (rubbing alcohol) burns! And blowing on it when its on your open wound doesn’t help. Why not juice pour orange juice on my cut too so you can have a screwdriver? Rub in some salt- jam a celery stick in there and make it a Bloody Mary. Better yet, why don’t you just sit me down mom, and slice open my other knee.

We have Peroxide, and Neosporin, and even good old fashion soap and water to clean cuts. Rubbing alcohol is just some passive aggressive way of getting back at kids for all the marriages they ruin and the divorces they cause!

Children of the world, unite! Speak out against cleaning your scraped knees with rubbing alcohol! Having a scraped knee is painful enough, we don’t have to make it burn!

The time to take back the experience of scraping our knees, and send a message to the sadistic moms who use rubbing alcohol to clean them!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

you take a week of for this?

Way to blow it open, woodward and bernstein!

Anonymous said...

The burn is how you know it's working.

deluca said...

lies!