As we close down Yankee Stadium a lot has been made of the greats of the game, let What Sucks be the one to make a lot of the sucks of the game. Dale Berra, the shittiest baseball player to ever play in Yankee Stadium. (Reprinted from “The Nosebleeds”)
Let’s see, your dad was a gunner’s mate in the D-Day invasion in WWII and then after saving Europe, he returned home to embark on a baseball career that would see him go to 14 World Series, 15 All-Star games, and win 3 MVP’s. Oh yeah, he also took both the Mets and the Yankees to the World Series as a manager before going into the Hall of Fame in 1972.
In addition to this, he invented “Yogi-isms”, an endearing way of putting things- (“90 percent of the game is mental, the other half is physical”) which made him beloved and a national icon.
You, on the other hand, were an early to mid-80’s middle infielder for the Pirates and Yankees who is famous for being fined 10% of his salary for admitting to using cocaine on and off from 1979 to 1984. You also, after being traded to Yanks where your dad was the manager, were fined for public urination and resisting arrest.
And if that wasn't enough, later that year you were the 2nd of two players to be thrown out at home plate in the same play. And, as you can see, you had a cheesedick mustache.
Behold, Dale Berra, the worst Yankee, worst baseball son of all time.
Not since Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker has there been a wider gap between the accomplishments and legacies of a father and a son. Well, maybe Tom and Colin Hanks.
Sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, sometimes the apple gets on a plane and travels 3000 miles to a bus which drives for 2 days to a boat which sails across the Ocean and docks next to a rocket ship which launches into space and travels to the far reaches of the galaxy.
Hall of Fame, Hall of Fame Douchebag.